I'm sorry about posting so late, but I have been away at a conference for the past four days and have not gotten a chance to. So, without further ado, here it is:
Many parents of active children find themselves debating whether or not sports drinks are actually healthy for their kids to drink. Producers of the drinks insist that these drinks are healthier than giving your child a soda to drink, and more appetizing than a bottle of water. To find out whether these drinks are healthy, we have to list the pros and cons of the drinks.
Sports drinks are loaded with carbohydrates. Carbohydrates
act as fuel for the body, and give kids energy for sports. Some also have protein,
that when combined with carbohydrates, improves an athlete’s performance. They
are also easily accessed through convenience stores or supermarkets. This makes
sports drinks very portable, and easy to get your hands on. Also, the flavour
of these drinks rather than water makes many children more pleased. Those who
do not enjoy water can have these drinks instead, so they are very popular with
many people.
But these drinks are also dangerous if consumed in large amounts.
Sports drinks have large amounts of sugar and sodium in them, which can make
them very unhealthy. The sugar can lead to diabetes, and other diseases. In
some drinks, the sugar level is higher than that of a soda! Also, they can
dissolve your teeth, due to their acidity. Many contain caffeine, which can
lead to dizziness, insomnia, and issues with the nervous system.
So are sports drinks good for teens? I think not. The amount
of sugar and sodium in them is almost as high as a soda’s sugar and sodium
level. This means that they really are not as healthy as many companies say.
Also, for teens who do not like water, there are many other options, like
squeezing a bit of citrus into the water, or making tea. Therefore, I believe
that sports drinks are not healthy options for teens.
Sources:
Hi! This was a well written post. You included relevant information and provided proposals and refuations appropriately.
ReplyDeleteHowever, you might want to try and vary your word choice. For example, you used "drink" several times where they could be eliminated or subsituted with a synonym such as "beverage". Without the repetition your writing might flow a little better.
Overall, you did a good job! You offered an alternative and formed a coherent opinion. Just be aware of the little details!
When you say "these drinks are also dangerous if consumed in large amounts", you're talking about pretty much anything ever - ANYTHING consumed in an obsessive amount is bad for you. I bring this analogy time and time again - yes, you can use a car as a weapon to kill, but that's not what it's intended for; it's a car, a vehicle, meant to be driven around. Yes, sports drinks aren't bad for you if you consume them every day, or drink them for the favour; no, they don't exist solely to kill you or rot your teeth, they are there to help athletes get the boost they need or cool them off. No offense, but it's a weak point from my perspective.
ReplyDeleteThough I like your additional research, it couldn't hurt to detail them further, or explain some of them; for example, why does sugar lead to diabetes? How does it damage your nervous system? So on.
Just a little side note, when you offer alternatives "for teens who do not like water", I found it really curious that you brought up tea. Some people like their tea with sugar (and a lot of it).
Don't get me wrong, I like the post, but like Hannah said the wording could be a little more exciting; I didn't find the apology that needed in the post either, as it doesn't really belong in your post.
But huge congratulations on actually stating your opinion, I'll give you props for that. Lots of posts are indecisive about their stance on the topic they post about.
Thank you for the constructive criticism - much appreciated, as you are the only ones to comment on this post so far.
ReplyDeleteJust to respond to some of your points: Hannah and Andrew, I definitely agree with you on the variation point. I noticed after posting that I could really have used more interesting language.
Also, to Andrew's point about the tea, I spoke about it meaning that the consumer would use little sugar, or perhaps drink something like green tea, which does not always mix well with sugar. I understand that that part could have been clearer.
I do think I could have extended on my ideas, I was quite a bit more rushed while writing the post than I would have liked to have been.
As for the apology, I felt it was necessary to explain to my group why I posted much later than I was supposed to.
I hope that cleared things up a bit. Again, thank you for the advice.
Assumptions are a very dangerous thing - always assume your audience doesn't know anything at all. That's my advice to your tea issue; and there's a lot of kinds of tea. Some go well with or without sugar.
DeleteAnd for the apology, you could always just apologize in real life. Again, I don't mean to crush you under criticism, but there's always the little things to improve on.
You're very welcome for the advice! I hope you'll use it well in your future posts. Good luck!
I think my classmates have adequately critiqued your post (though I disagree with Andrew in that I feel that your comments to your group are separate from your argument in general and don't much affect it at all).
ReplyDeleteHowever, in analysing the issue at hand, you seem to base your opposition to sports drinks' popularity with children and teenagers based on their nutritional value (or lack thereof), using sodas as a major point of comparison. This makes me curious- what do you think of other beverages being marketed to children- for example, the sodas you compare the energy drinks with? What about juice- some fruit juices are very high in sugar (355ml of Tropicana contains 30.2g of sugar, compared with 39.0 in a can of Coca-Cola Classic)? I suspect that the issue may be less about the drinks' nutritional value, and far more (as you mentioned) about their positioning as 'healthy' alternatives to water.
Ultimately, I'm curious as to who you think bears responsibility to control youths' access to these beverages- the parents, the children, the manufacturers, the regulatory agencies, educators- there are a whole host of possible ways to stem the perception of these drinks as healthy and a whole bunch of parties eager to accept(or to shirk) that responsibility.
All in all, your post was very well written. As you can tell, I found very little to criticise- instead, your post provoked many more questions (a good thing!). Well done.
Just to address some of your questions and comments:
DeleteI agree with you in the fact that the drinks are being marketed as healthy, when in reality they are not much healthier than a soda or juice. I find that the best thing to do is to just drink water.
Also, to your question about who bears responsibility to children and teen's access to these beverages, I think that everyone bears responsibility to the access. Of course, while children are at school, parents can not do much to prevent their children from buying, though they could take away their children's money/allowance, but that is not the best option to limit the consumption of these drinks through children. The manufacturers could stop producing the beverages, but that would not be fair to the general public, not to mention it would shut down many companies. I think the best way to limit a child's access to this is to educate them about the dangers of the drinks, through teachers, parents, and agencies.
Anyhow, thank you for the critique, it helps me a lot. :)